武夷行迹 The Wu Yi Scenery Part

武夷：林泉山涧（金井涧） 

The WuYi Scenery Part: Springs in the roke

Still Life &  Landscape

Material:  Oil painting on canvas

Size: 100x150cm

Date: 2020-2021

Artist: lilyma马莉

“The Wu Yi Scenery” 

Part 1

I once thought, why not just stay indoors until October of this year?  But how long can I really isolate myself?! Considering my hyperactivity and complete lack of patience, I asked myself with curiosity.

It felt like fate, another challenge presented by God, giving me an opportunity to both torment myself and pass the time effortlessly while discovering more about myself during these never-ending days.

Of course, these days were not easy, and I had never left the two-kilometer radius of my home. Whenever I ventured out, it was mostly for a run or to pick up a package, but even then, the packages were usually large and had to be carried on my bike or pushed in a shopping cart, by myself. It wasn’t until Bao Bao called me to tell me about his plan to go to Wuyi Mountain. He was going to see a man who named Po Shui (Broken Water).  

I had been restless at home for a few days, not painting and constantly fidgeting. Wuyi Mountain had a strong appeal to me. I found a reason for myself and decided to go there on July 21.  

Also, because… I had to make a decision that I had been struggling with for a long time on July 21.  I could use the train ride to work through the decision-making process, walking alone for thousands of miles.

The water was crystal clear and sweet, located in the center of Wuyi Mountain. Precisely named Jinjing Jian. This painting is called Springs in Roke (Linquan Mountain Stream), named after the same sense of clarity and sweetness.

On the second day of the hottest period of summer, we followed a man named Po Shui to climb the mountain and fetch water for tea from the deep mountains. Our bodies were drenched in sweat, and we had to “air-dry” multiple times, leaving our skin feeling coated in salty water. We had to go upstream to fetch water again, and during our lunch break, the grass cutters rested by the springs, so I decided to explore downstream. It was during this time that I stumbled upon this pool of water.

Eagerly, I took off my shoes and clothes and wanted to wash myself in the water. The spring pool was neither too deep nor too shallow, more like a natural bathing pool, half-covered by cliffs and hidden from the view of the grass cutters. As I waded into the spring, the water felt cool and comforting. And to think, this was a drinkable sweet spring. However, I was a bit afraid of encountering snakes or insects like green bamboo snakes.

Yes, there are cobras and green bamboo snakes in Wuyi Mountain. Po Shui told me that if he went out ten times, he would encounter a snake twice, which equals a 20% chance. Just recently, a cobra had chased him for over ten meters. He also told me that a few years ago, he spent a week swimming in a creek under a Ming arch bridge on the mountain, while a small green bamboo snake on a tree accompanied him, changing its posture every day. (If you know the Chinese traditional mythological story “The Legend of the White Snake”…… Great love story.)

Hearing these stories made me shiver. I had to carefully look around before daring to enter the water and enjoy it cautiously.

When I returned to my studio, I realized something interesting. On June 14th, while painting the scenery part of Jiangnan, I don’t know why, but I painted some shapes on a 100×150 cm canvas next to me. I didn’t have any specific ideas when I painted them, and I even forgot about them later, knowing that I would paint over them. It wasn’t until the night before last, when I came back from Wu Yi, that I had a vision of Jinjing Jian in my mind.

Today, I moved the canvas to the third floor and had a cup of Huang Guanyin tea, which was handcrafted by Po Shui, only to find that the random shapes I painted matched the composition I had in mind.

It’s truly strange. What an amazing coincidence and foresight.

Actually, wherever we go, we are just passers-by. 

We come and we go. This is not our entire life, but it is a part of life. 

We put the beautiful scenery into our hearts and draw it into our works. Whether it is pieced together fragmentarily or observed from a distance, it eventually forms a story.

Humans are creatures who believe in stories. 

And artists are most obsessed with pursuing a free spirit. 

We “poor” artists, haha! 

This is confusing yet interesting, isn’t it?!

2020.7.30 Morning lilyma马莉

Excerpt from The Black and White World from Moli’s Heart

武夷行迹：黄柏溪 写生

The WuYi Scenery Part: Huang Bai Xi Creek（Sketch）

Material: 水彩 Watercolors 

Size: 34×20.4cm

Date: 2020.10.23

Artist: lilyma马莉

At Wuyi, 武夷

“The Wu Yi Scenery” 

Part 2

Dawn, running springs, old yellow dog set at the village entrance;

Planning carefully, feel the fairness in my heart, a smile erases enmity.

Many things have happened, some resolved, but they are not that simple. Because they involve many social relationships, and they all need to be handled well.

How can I smoothly navigate through life without losing direction amidst others’ questioning and noise?! I mean since we all exist within social relationships.

Let me thinking thinking…. 

How should I deal with and face the disappointed and sad faces of loved ones?

But, what about my own disappointment and sorrow?

Well, when it comes to personal matters, I’ll handle them myself, because happiness can be shared, but grief can only be comforted in solitude. The feeling of pain on someone else’s body is something only they can perceive.  

That’s why I told my self:”Planning carefully, feel the fairness in my heart, a smile erases enmity.”

2020.7.25 Morning lilyma马莉 At Wu Yi

Excerpt from The Black and White World from Moli’s Heart

Such a road and scenery are beautiful during the day.

Coming back from the town at night after big dinner.   I can’t help but think about the cobras.   There is fear in my heart.

The thunder and lightning in the sky, and soon will be rainning.   I holding two flashlights, and look around to see if there are any cobras on the roadside.

Po Shui said that there is a 20% chance of encountering them.

The person behind me says, “Don’t just look at the ground, maybe there are green bamboo leave snakes (Trimeresurus stejnegeri) falling from the tree.”

The psychological shadow is so large, but at least when I return to my accommodation in time, I feel relieved.

If it weren’t for the fear of lingering, there would be an even greater chance of encountering venomous snakes,

I would have started a fight with the person behind me who is always making sarcastic remarks.

We walk faster and faster, mainly because we are afraid of being struck by lightnings.

2020.7.25 Night 21:55 lilyma马莉 At Wu Yi

Excerpt from The Black and White World from Moli’s Heart

“The Wu Yi Scenery” 

Part 3

Sometimes, certain moments and memories come to mind at the right time, just like my little dog Bu Er at home who has a “Sense of time“.

Three years ago today, I set off for Wuyi Mountain.

Three years later today, I can write about what happened beyond the scenes.

At that time, I was at a loss for what to do. How did the following three years turn out?

I put all my energy into creating and planning my life.

I had close contact with friends and family;

I was with art every day;

I was surrounded by flowers and plants;

I wrote, and read books.

I completed the “Emotion and Expression” art book and continuously finished various exhibition works.

The following three years were the quietest and happiest time of my life.

There are definitely also unhappiness and other emotions, and joy, anger, sorrow, and happiness and joy are all normal functions of human beings. However, these emotions are not as abundant as ‘Joy‘. Joy is the most abundant.

This Joy:  Is the passion and joy of creation;

This Joy:  Is the successful means of expressing and performing ‘emotions‘;

This Joy:  Originally, I do not lack care and self-confidence. And I do have great friends.

Is there ‘Misunderstanding‘ and ‘Doubt‘?

Yes!!! Always.

So what should I do?!

I did what I should do it! Professionalism cannot be neglected, and creative thinking cannot be neglected.

People say what they say, this is their freedom of speech; We do what we have to do. The success of things depends on doing, not by saying.

I spend 90% of my time on execution, so I don’t get distracted too much.

Besides, it’s important to consider the intentions of others when they offer well-meaning reminders. I am grateful for that. 

Whether to speak or not is up to others; whether to listen or not is up to myself. We all have the freedom to choose. Also, due to the long working hours involved in creation, thinking, execution, and practice, there aren’t many people who talk to me, and I don’t have much time to listen either. Sometimes, someone’s words can really serve as a reminder for me. After all, I’m not always smart and knowledgeable in everything, right?

A few days ago, Lv Xin came to have tea with me and said, “I, myself, in the future, need to learn to let go and be selfish.”

I said, “Wow, that’s great! Then you can really relax.”

Lv Xin said to me many years ago that I am too good at finding excuses. In recent years, she has realized that this flaw is actually a strength.

“What should I do if I don’t find the right excuses? If I can’t solve it, should I just go and die? Or force myself to sickness?” I said to her, “We still need to find the reasons that need to be found. Privately, I must make corrections and not give up on what needs to be done. I just convert the time of self-torture into creation or store it as ‘emotions‘ for creative use. Of course, there needs to be an outlet for this creation. Aren’t you from a performing arts background? Treat the bad stories as if they are a play and let them end. The good stories can be kept in my heart and can inspire me. I can fill my heart with more good (materials) and not leave any space for the bad.“

Lv Xin and I watched the drama “Chang An” for the second time. She cried twice, and I laughed twice. 

I told her, “Look at Gao Shi, and you will understand why I choose the most primitive and stupid methods. I don’t take easy shortcuts; I stick to simplicity（Be honest ond poor）.” 

When you are young and absorbing knowledge, playing smart may seem clever, but what happens when your cleverness runs out? If your potential hasn’t been developed, then you’ll be left crying. Will your potential still be developed in the future, or will you have to resort to “taking shortcuts”? 

Smart people often can’t accomplish much, or at least that’s what I believe. 

I also don’t think I am talented enough. For me, taking shortcuts is a waste of time. 

Throughout the years, I have worked in various professions and fields. My definition of success is not solely based on money, but rather on developing potential. Although I love wealth, I love talent even more. 

I have thought about what it would be like to live day after day, repeating the same things without any ideals. I wouldn’t know how to continue living and would feel very miserable. 

For thousands of days, painting every day is not repetition for me; 

For over 20 years, writing and recording texts daily is also not repetition. 

Throughout these many years, I have constantly clashed and collided with myself, society, friends, nature, history, and more, creating new things, sparks, methods, techniques, and new ways of thinking. It truly is unpredictable and full of wonders. 

The so-called ideals are not just about achieving fame and fortune (surelly achieving fame and fortune only brings more freedom). It is about having a freer understanding and expression of the many wonderful people, things, and objects in the world.

So, when I watch “Chang An” and laugh, I feel being understood. Of course, it’s just my own feeling, being understand by a story, not others.

This is a metaphor.

So, three years ago today, I felt heavy. I had to actively say goodbye to a relationship that I had invested years in, filled with sadness, reluctance, and a lot of imbalance. It was also a release from the pain of “not being understood“.

This goodbye meant that I had to enter a new beginning, an unknown beginning, something I hadn’t experienced before.

Now, I can responsibly say to myself that the decision I made that day was:

Decided: A beautiful beginning;

               A firm beginning;

               A journey of solitude;

               A beginning of diligent exploration…

Fortunately, I am very curious about these things and subjectively aspire to pursue them.

If I have any worries, I’m afraid that there won’t be enough time, and I worry that this peaceful day won’t last long enough.  At that time, I told myself: If I don’t seize the time and make more efforts and executions now, I’m afraid I won’t have time to do these things in the future.  Damn it, I’m already 40 years old.

As a result, the pandemic came, and I almost confined me for three years.  But I can still continue do it.  Silent days.

I am willing to seek health and happiness, so I did not spend time indulging in grief and imbalance.  I set myself some loud “slogans” and went for it.

At that time, when I discussed with my girl friends and companions, most of them were confused.  For the sake of friendship and encouragement, they didn’t openly question it, and I really appreciate them for that.

But this was already a great encouragement for me.

However, after a few years, almost all of these “slogans” have been realized.

Hahahahahahahahaha~~~~~~~~~

I feel somewhat reassured in my heart.  But I habitually warn myself:

Don’t go madness and arrogance, don’t go madness and arrogance.  Being arrogant is easy to get something bad happen;

Don’t boast your self, don’t make myself look like a fool.

Interesting, the term “Madness and Arrogance” does not come from my own life, but from a traditional Chinese Opera play called “Pearl Tower” that I performed in my teens and twenties. The male lead, Fang Qing, was a young man who had fallen on hard times and sought refuge with his aunt, only to be mocked and ridiculed. Later, he faced life and death situations, and in the end, he passed the imperial examination and returned to his aunt to seek revenge, becoming madness and arrogance in the process.

I didn’t really like that kind of “Madness and Arrogance”.

Zhou Dongliang played that character, and his crazy laughter with that unique high-pitched tone is etched in my mind. I always think of this.

When I was young, I also warned myself: 

Even if I am not successful in my youth, I shouldn’t go mad if I become successful in my old age.

I also warned myself: Do not to bully young people just because they are poor.

These past few years, I haven’t been bothered by good or bad things, I don’t have time to dwell or indulge. I am looking forward to a better life ahead! That’s how I think. 

If there is nothing better happens, I won’t be bothered either. I will do what I can and leave the rest to fate.

That day, a few of us women were talking about some nonsense like “lucky charms (Lucky dog shit in Chinese)” ! I said, “I don’t know about lucky, but I have a lively and mischievous dog at home that produces all kinds of fresh and unique dog shit, hahaha~” 

This could be considered a summary of a phase. After finishing the summary, we can continue moving forward.

Today, Tao Hui（The dancing actress Tao Hui）, has released her film “Wonder Family“. Sandy and I will watch it tomorrow.

Now, I’m going to have my lunch.

2023.7.21 Morning  lilyma马莉

Excerpt from  Moli’s Diary from Moli’s Heart